Getting unsolicited advice when you have cosmetic treatments.

Aesthetic Treatment | 0 comments

“Having cosmetic treatments is like wearing armour. It can help protect you while you’re nurturing the best version of you”~ Dr Terry

An image

Having Botox is part of my armour.

My first Botox treatment was when I was 32 years old and since then I’ve been having it every 3-6 months. I’m 45 years old at the time of writing this blog.

At first it was to help me reduce and prevent the “11” lines appearing between my eyebrows so I wouldn’t look “old” or angry.

But in time, it became part of my armour navigating life climbing the career ladder, kissing frogs to find a life mate, becoming a mother, finding work life balance, healing from trauma and health issues, moving through toxic relationships and environments.

My most recent treatment was before a big professional week to soften my face and relieve the signs of stress as I had to meet A LOT of family members going for my brother-in-law’s wedding straight after. And then there was a holiday away with visiting family members.

When I do my Botox treatment, I normally treat my frown area, forehead to lift my eyebrows and open my eyes. I also treat my chin, jaw and neck to lift my face and reduce a muscle tic I have in my neck which I developed in my teens doing funny neck exercises wanting to reduce my double chin. My tic gets worst when I’m stressed.

Having Botox helps me put a braver face forward.

Having cosmetic treatments is like wearing an armour. It can help create a shield to what we’re facing but it does not take away the woman underneath the armour. The stronger and more resilient we learn to be, the less we feel depended or attached to our armour.

Now I know cosmetic treatments can be polarising. It can be empowering and yet it can also be a big mistake or something neutral to experiment. Whichever way it goes, we choose how we perceive it.

Sharing my views on cosmetic treatments on social media at times get negative comments.

I used to let the negative comments bother me but as I’ve grown older, I realise having cosmetic treatments is only a very small part of me. It’s just another tool I use to navigate through life’s ups and downs.

 

In my 13 years having cosmetic treatments personally and 16 years providing it professionally, I realise what people say can be:

  • a genuine concern as they don’t know any different
  • a projection of their own fears of growing older
  • a projection of their own judgement of themselves
  • a way to make themselves feel better by putting others down
  • a funny way of being nosey

Understandably when people make comments or give unwarranted advice, it can hurt. It’s tough being a woman, let alone a woman who is ageing. So many mixed messages, conflicting advice & subliminal agendas to keep women small.

Although we can feel compassion towards people making these comments, we have to learn to thicken our skin and stick with our own decisions.

 

When a comment is made:

  • Pause and take a breather
  • Ask yourself – Does this person deserve a reply? Does this person deserve my energy which is precious and limited? Do I feel grounded enough to reply? **Remember, not saying anything is also a response**
  • Create a protective energetic bubble around you & imagine your solar plexus (near your belly button) is shining a big bright yellow. It’s your emotional chakra & by feeling grounded, you are less likely to be affected by others.
  • Acknowledge the comment (ideas below)
  • Take extra care of yourself after you stand up for yourself and your decision.

Here are some responses you can keep in your back pocket if you choose to reply. Try them out. Practice them and tweak to sound like you.

  • “Thank you but I’m okay.”
  • “I appreciate your concern, but I’m an adult and capable of making my own decisions”
  • “I hear what you’re saying. I appreciate your input.”
  • That has not been my experience”.
  • “My reasons are personal, and I don’t have to explain them to you.”
  • “I have my reasons.”
  • “I’m not obligated to explain myself to you.”
  • “I prefer not to say.”
  • “I’m confident in my decisions.”
  • “I’m intrigued by what you’re saying, can you explain the reasoning behind it?”
  • “I know I don’t need it but it makes me feel good/ look less tired/ look more refresh.”
  • “I’m experimenting and deciding if it’s (still) right for me.”

We are all going to age.

My face will change. Your face will change.

What we don’t like, we can learn to accept, research on how to change things or make the most of what we have. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself.

My face, my rules. Your face, your rules.

Here’s to armours in life to protect us while we nurture the best versions of ourselves.

 

Dr Terry