May is my birthday month and I can get melancholy this time of the year.
When I was younger, I remember people often saying “Why are you so sad…… you should be grateful of …..”.
I’ve probably said that to others, thinking I was helping but I now know it’s my way to avoiding the discomfort.
The sadness never really goes away. Hurrying myself up to get over my sadness because I’ve been conditioned to see it as “bad”. I used to tell myself I shouldn’t be sad because so many people have it worst than me and by being sad, I’m suggesting that I don’t appreciate what I have.
Plus the days when I was very into the Law of Attraction, I would be so fearful of feeling sad because the Universe would not “grant” me my wishes because I was not already appreciative of what I have.
I believe that is considered gaslighting myself. Definitely not healthy.
Being older, I’m learning to be okay feeling sad AND grateful at the same time. I believe they can co-exist. It’s almost like I have to give myself permission to do it and believe it’s normal and healthy.
As they say, without the rain, we don’t see the rainbows 🌈
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